


We Have It All

by cracklesnaple



Series: the fall of a hero [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Character Death, Dysfunctional Family, Family Dynamics, Fighting, Gen, I mean, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self-Worth Issues, Sort Of, Swearing, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), c'mon sbi arent doing so great, he respawns, in regards to my portrayal of pogtopia in this series, it doesnt actually happen, it's just referenced but im tagging it just in case, its the pit scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cracklesnaple/pseuds/cracklesnaple
Summary: After months of fleeing L'Manburg, Tommy is found in the tundra by the last person he wanted to see.(sequel to 'The Tragedy of a Hero' but can be read as a stand alone as long as you're okay with being slightly confused)
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, just family dynamics yall
Series: the fall of a hero [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036035
Comments: 24
Kudos: 683





	We Have It All

**Author's Note:**

> title from We Have it All by Pim Stones
> 
> remember, this is just a portrayal of their minecraft characters, not the people themselves and don't be sending any hate to any of these content creators because this is literally just a roleplay
> 
> [playlist for the fic ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4zcWofQLfmQDQ2lYklN8RU?si=qyXiBndGQsmfeXR5ng1Uvw)

TommyInnit wasn’t religious by any means. He never was and never would be. But that didn’t stop him from sinking to his knees on the cold, hard earth, and stumbling out a prayer, a plea, that someone was out there. Snow melted against his trousers and bit into his skin, while the frigid wind sunk into his bones through his clothes. The boy’s clothing was ripped more than not, the only thing providing a modicum of warmth was the heavy coat zipped up to his throat, but even that stood no chance against the unforgiving nature of the tundra.

He had lost track of how long he had been running. Blocks and chunks and weeks were left in between him and L’Manburg, between him and everything he used to know. The only thing he could use to keep track of the days was his dwindling supply of food, but even that wasn’t exact. He had been forced to ration more and more than longer he was lost within this unforgiving biome, to the point where he had to deal with the constant hunger pains. The tundra seemed to last forever and food was few and far in between. Tommy had forgotten when the last time he saw something living was.

Maybe the hunger and isolation finally started getting to him as he lay freezing in the snow, uncaring of the risk of hypothermia, though he knew he probably already suffered from it. Tommy curled into himself until his head rested close to his chest, willing himself to warm up even though it was futile. With his body chilled to his core and his mind desperately grasping to the last coherent thoughts he could muster up, Tommy started to pray.

He wasn’t sure who or what he was praying to, wasn’t even sure if anything was listening to him and he was okay with that, he just needed to let out all the thoughts he had kept bottled up since his last conversation with Ghostbur. Tommy hoped and prayed and begged that his leaving was enough to keep L’Manburg safe from another war with Dream. He thought about Tubbo, and Nikki, and Ranboo, and Phil and Tommy prayed they were all safe, that they were healthy and didn’t miss him too much. (He doubted they would.) The boy prayed that Ghostbur was able to reunite with Technoblade and that he remembered more of his past and was able to make peace with it (even if Tommy himself never could). TommyInnit wasn’t religious, but he prayed to anyone listening that his friends, his family - even though they all betrayed and left him- were _happy._

Falling backwards, he landed with a huff on the hard ground, the snow doing little to soften the fall. Tommy breathed deeply and the cold latched onto his lungs. Snow clung to his hair and dampened his skin. His feet ached from days of nonstop running and his head throbbed. He know longer knew what the point of running was. Didn’t know why he kept trekking on except for the fact that if he turned back, he’d surely be killed. Tommy knew he was far enough away from his old home, but some part of him screamed every time he stopped to take a breath, as if danger risked catching up to him.

He was so tired. Tommy couldn’t remember the last time he wasn’t tired. It must’ve been years and wars ago, before he and Wilbur left home in search of an adventure. Before the fight for L’Manburg started. Tommy was starting to think that he was born just to be a soldier for other people. Sure, he stood with L’Manburg and would forever care about the nation but he didn’t know how much more he could give to it before he was left with nothing. (As if he didn’t lose everything already.) Before he left, Tommy was so sure he was in the right. So sure he wasn’t being selfish about wanting to get his discs back, but he was no longer sure. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore with weeks of isolation under his belt and only his own thoughts and the last words his ~~friends~~ acquaintances spoke to him.

_“You’re being selfish, Tommy.”_

_“You’re putting the entire nation at risk.”_

_“You’re a liability.”_

Tommy didn’t know why those words hurt so much. Why they sunk into his skin like barbed wire and ate away at his heart like wither poison. It wasn’t anything new, nothing he hadn’t heard before from Wilbur in Pogtopia, from Dream, from everyone he had met back before Phil found him and he was still a street rat. He guessed being betrayed by the one person he had left hurt more than when he knew there were others rooting for him or when he knew he only had himself. He tried to silence those words, tried to bury them to the darkest parts of his mind where his time in Pogtopia stayed imprisoned. Tommy knew it wasn’t healthy, knew repressing his emotions and memories to the extent he did would only come back to haunt him, but he couldn’t deal with anything right now except for staying alive.

 _History had an awful way of repeating itself,_ Tommy thought bitterly and found it funny how the weather around him finally reflected the coldness that had plagued him since Wilbur’s death. He could still remember when he was a boy, back before he was forced into the position of toy soldier, and he lived off pity scraps and dirty water. A time when all he knew was hunger, pain, and survival and he thought there was nothing more to life. Tommy was sure he knew how the world worked back then. The rich and powerful rule the poor and the weak with no hope of changing. Knew that heroes didn’t exist but villains were far too common. He remembered hating the world for what it had done to him and vowing that he would rather die than become corrupted with power. It seemed he would be getting that wish.

Funnily enough, Tommy thought younger him wouldn’t hesitate to side with Technoblade. But that Tommy had learned to love and to be happy and to experience loss at such magnitude it was still hard to breathe sometimes. That Tommy hadn’t been betrayed by the same family that took him in. Despite what it seemed like at the time, that Tommy had been innocent.

And now, years later, worn and ragged from war and betrayal and loss, Tommy was no longer innocent. Where he used to see the beauty in sunsets, he now found only the reprieve of battle. When he gazed upon his found family he used to feel whole and loved, now he only felt bitter and broken. He couldn’t tell if he was being dramatic. Didn’t know if he was truly the cause of all the pain and loss that ran rampant throughout L’Manburg. Maybe it was better that he left instead of risking the chance to stay. At least now no one would have to put up with him anymore.

“I’m so tired,” he exhaled, carbon dioxide freezing to vapor instantly and he let himself settle into the ground. Tommy could no longer feel the cold pressing against his body and knew, very distantly, that he should be worried about that, but he was too tired to listen. The memory of his last good night’s sleep had escaped him and he decided that here was as good as any other place. His eyes drifted closed, snowflakes dotted his eyelashes and nose. Maybe he truly understood how Wilbur lost his mind in that inhospitable ravine.

The sound of wind accompanied him as he fell asleep against the cold ground. A soft brush against his hair was the last thing Tommy felt before passing out.

His toes were freezing. That made sense, since he had been trudging through an enormous tundra biome, but the fact that he had woken up to that made Tommy immensely angry.

“What the fuck?” he groaned as he sat up, a thick blanket falling in a heap against his legs. Tommy yawned, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, and felt more rested than he had for months. His eyes snapped open, mind suddenly registering that he was in an actual bed and that he was in a bed. Creator above. It felt like it had been lifetimes since he last slept in a real bed. But with that fact came the instant switch to flight or fight mode in his brain. He ripped himself out of the bed, righting himself against the nearby wall when he stumbled and took in his surroundings. “What the fuck.” His voice rasped from lack of use and he coughed, trying to ease the pain. Tommy seemed to be in a cottage of some sort. He was still in a tundra biome, obvious by the everlasting snow storm that raged on outside the windows, but if it was the same one he had ~~almost died in~~ fell asleep in or if it was a new one, he couldn’t be sure. His teeth chattered violently together, gnashing against one another so suddenly he winced at the pain. Now that his brain was no longer on autopilot, he could feel the constant shivers that wracked his body, even though he felt like he was resting in a pool of lava.

He rubbed his hands against his arms, hoping to warm himself up, only to notice that he had new clothing on. The thick, long-sleeve, wool shirt dyed to a shallow blue that sucked any color from his skin and a set of long wool trousers, both noticeably too big on him but they were more appropriate than the light, torn up clothing he had been wearing since he left L’Manburg. And if he wasn’t nervous before seeing that someone had apparently changed and dressed him, he definitely was now. Frantically, he searched for any sign of his leather bag and his sword. Wilbur’s old coat, the one Tommy had been desperately holding onto since the man’s death, was draped over a chair placed in front of a giant lit fireplace. Tommy grabbed it without a second thought and shrugged it over his shoulders, the familiar weight settling like a blanket over his mind.

In the corner of the small room, propped up against a small end table to the wall, was his netherite sword. The purple metal was dinged and scratched and had seen better days, but Tommy had been doing his best to keep in tact seeing it was the only weapon he had to keep himself safe from mobs and the occasional rogue hunter from nearby kingdoms. He picked it up gratefully and tested the weight of the sword but it trembled in tune to the shivers of his body. Tommy kept his grip tight on the sword but let it drop slightly before moving on to the door at the start of the room.

Thick, dark brown doors stood on the other side of the bed, looking handmade but sturdy enough. A test to the knob found the doors unlocked and Tommy hesitantly opened them, peering through the opening. There was a long hallway with another room at the end, seemingly a bathroom. In the middle of the hallway was a staircase that matched the dark brown doors. He couldn’t see into the downstairs, but Tommy was able to hear someone moving around over the crackle of the fireplace.

Heavy footsteps, as if the person was wearing boots, paced below him and were followed with the bang out what sounded like a cauldron. Either someone was attempting to brew potions - a feat he had only seen Ghostbur perfect - or they were cooking. Neither option felt better to the boy. He knew he should be grateful for whoever had saved him from death, but years of betrayal taught him everyone always had an ultimatum for helping, no matter how nice they seem.

With his sword clutched in his hand, his bag still nowhere to be seen, Tommy krept out of the bedroom and down the stairs. He flinched and hesitated when one of the bottom steps creaked loudly under his weight. The footsteps stopped and Tommy bit back a curse, damning the step to the nether when a voice rang out.

“You can stop sneaking around.”

The sword threatened to slip out of Tommy’s hand as shock overtook him.

“What the _fuck?_ ” Tommy whispered, mixed emotions of dread, relief, and rage swelled through his heart at the sight. To his left, standing in front of a tiny kitchen with a cauldron stacked on top of a counter, was his older brother. Pink hair was twisted into a bun, displaying his floppy ears and tusks. Technoblade wore a light blue sweater with trousers of the same color, a thick white and blue cloak was strung over his shoulders and he had on thick, black boots. His brother looked alarmingly different from the warrior Tommy was used to and the boy wasn’t sure if could process the change. Nor the fact that it had, apparently, been his brother that took him in and saved him from freezing to death. The same brother who didn’t hesitate to spawn Withers and threaten his little brother all because they wanted a little stability and peace for once. But, most of all, Tommy wasn’t sure why Techno bothered to save him. As far as the boy knew, his brother found him just as annoying as everyone else did.

“Care to tell me why I found you half dead feet from my house?” his brother questioned, turning around to mess with whatever was in the cauldron. Tommy let the sword fall to the ground, the metal colliding with a resounding shing across the house. He closed his eyes and stuffed his hands into the pocket of the coat, hoping to get rid of this nightmare by not acknowledging it. There was absolutely no way his brother would save him. Not when it would be so easy to finally get rid of him and never have to deal with him again. His body wouldn’t stop shivering and he wanted nothing more than to be done with this.

Somewhere along the months of running, it seemed he had forgotten what it was like to talk to other people. The only interactions he had with people, other than the ones attempting to kill him, were quick trades in a nearby village and the occasional whisper from Ranboo updating him about L’Manburg.

“Tommy?” Techno set a spoon down on the counter and turned around to gaze at his younger brother.

“If I had known you lived so close I would’ve passed out somewhere else,” Tommy retorted instead of giving an actual answer but the speech is stilted and awkward, marked by violent shivers and his raspy voice.

Technoblade stared at him for a long moment but Tommy avoided his eyes, finding the wooden flooring a much safer option than the embers of his brother’s eyes.

“Why’d you leave the room?” Tommy is asked instead of the millions of other questions he had prepared a bullshit answer for.

“Why did I-?” He cut himself off. “What would you do if you suddenly woke up in a random ass cottage without any knowledge of where you are, why you’re there, or who brought you there? Would you just sit and wait in that bed for someone to come kill you?”

His brother huffed out a quiet laugh and Tommy could see the eye roll. “Why would someone save you from dying of hypothermia only to kill you?”

“I don’t know man! I’m not a murderer, how would I know how their minds work!”

“You never change.”

Tommy knew his brother didn’t mean those words in the way he interpreted them, but it didn’t stop the flood of self-doubt from rushing through his mind.

_“You never change.”_

_“A liability.”_

_“Selfish.”_

“Tommy?”

His eyes snapped open again. When had he closed them? Tommy could feel the ever constant exhaustion weigh him down once again and he no longer felt as well rested as he had moments earlier. He was so tired.

“Why’d you save me?” Tommy’s voice sounded soft to his own ears but it’s a question that he needed answered. Needed to know why the brother who had hesitated to kill him in a pit and blow up the little left from his nation would decide to help him.

“You think I’d let my little brother freeze to death?” Technoblade asked, and he sounded genuinely confused at Tommy’s question, as if he didn’t think Tommy wasn’t worth saving like the boy himself thought.

“You didn’t seem to care when you spawned three Withers,” he answered bitterly, hands clenched tight where they hid in the pockets of his coat. “Or when you beat me to death in the pit.” The pit wasn’t something Tommy liked to think of, like almost everything that had happened to him in Pogtopia. He had tried to lock the memory away but he didn’t think he could ever forget the way Wilbur had egged them both on, eager to see his little brother beat by their other brother and the way Tubbo had watched them fight without intervening. He would never forget the way they all left him in the pit to respawn by himself as his wounds knitted themselves together painfully and his ribs punctured his lungs with every breath while it took hours for the respawn to heal all the damage done.

“Look,” Techno started, his monotone voice hiding a hint of annoyance that Tommy could easily recognize. Tommy knew he was going to let out some stupid ass speech about how he was in the right and didn’t do anything wrong. “I helped you and Wilbur take down a corrupt government and after months of working to get materials for everyone, the moment you won, you installed another government. I told you all repeatedly that I’m an anarchist and won’t stand with a government.”

“And _we_ told you that all we wanted was to overthrow Schlatt!” he blurted and the rage swimming through his veins seemed to have calmed the cold.

“Tommy, you overthrew a publicly elected official because you didn’t like the way he ran things and then put yourself into a position of power.”

“But I didn’t!” Tommy cried, wishing that someone would see things the way he did, or at least make an effort to understand. But why would Technoblade be any different than everyone else. “I didn’t want Wilbur to choose me to be president! That’s why I stepped down! And the people were happy that Tubbo became the president! And he made a policy that there’ll be an election held every seventy days! Besides,” he continued when his brother opened his mouth to speak again. “L’Manburg’s doing a hell of a lot more making sure the people have a say than Dream is when he keeps appointing kings left and right, why aren’t you upset about that?”

“Because this isn’t about Dream! It’s about you and Wilbur and L’Manburg. You called for my help, knowing my beliefs and then used me to fight your battles before throwing me away once I didn’t agree with your plans anymore.”

“Then why’d you come in the first place!”

“Because my brothers were in trouble!” Techno shouted, looking more upset than Tommy had ever seen before. The expression, so similar to his other brother’s when he got mad at Tommy, caused him to take a step back, making sure he was out of swing range. Technoblade softened his voice. “Because you were in trouble and I knew I could help.”

“I’m sorry.” Tommy wasn’t sure exactly what he was apologizing for. Asking Techno for help in the first place? Getting angry with him after he spawned the Withers? Calling him a traitor? Or was he just apologizing because he didn’t want to make the man angrier? Or was it all of the above? He didn’t know, but he did know that he didn’t deal with anger well, especially since Pogtopia, and maybe he just wanted a brother back.

“Oh Toms,” his brother sighed before taking the boy into his arms. Tommy couldn’t stop the flinch from the contact and, even as he eased into the embrace, his spine was still rigid with tension. “I know, and I am too. I never meant to hurt you so bad. You know how my anger can get the better of me sometimes.”

 _Must be a family trait,_ Tommy thought right before; _That’s not an excuse._ And it wasn’t, he knew that, but Tommy could tell Techno was trying even if it wasn’t great. Tommy knew Technoblade thought he was in the right for standing by his morals and the boy supposed he could live with that since he thought he was right for standing by his own.

“Where’s my bag?” Tommy asked once Techno had let go and turned back to the cauldron. He knew the conversation wasn’t over, not yet, but he’d rather not fight any longer. He’s already done more talking in one day than he had in months. Techno pointed to a table behind him. His worn leather bag rested on the top of what Tommy guessed was the dining table. After making sure what little he had was still in it - it was - he sat down on the chair nearest to it.

“Are you going to answer my original question?” his brother spoke up and Tommy had to bite back a groan, wishing they didn’t have to talk any longer.

“I’d been walking for a while.”

Techno glanced over his shoulder, one eyebrow quirked up in a question. “You had been walking and then decided the middle of a forest during a snowstorm was the perfect place for a little nap?”

Tommy shrugged, not wanting to tell his older brother the major reason for why he had let himself fall asleep there. Didn’t want Techno to have another piece of ammunition against him. “I was pretty delirious already,” he said instead. “This biomed is fucking huge. I’m not sure how long I’ve been walking through it but it has to be too fucking long.”

“Well you’re lucky I found you and you’re lucky you’re not more injured. I know I’m glad I didn’t have to cut off any of your toes because of your stupidity.”

Tommy tried a smile, thankful that Technoblade was focused on the food than him. A bowl was placed in front of him on the table, full of pieces of mushrooms and broth. He thanked his brother who nodded and sat down across from him. Even though it was just basic mushroom stew, it tasted like the best thing Tommy had ever eaten. He had been living off carrots, cooked potatoes, and whatever bread he had left since he entered this biome so having something that was hot felt like he was on top of the world. They ate in an awkward silence but Tommy was happy to not have to talk while he ate and focused on enjoying the warm meal, knowing that it wouldn’t last.

“What are your plans?”

Tommy glanced up at Technoblade as he shoveled the last spoonful of the stew into his mouth. He waited until he finished before asking, “What do you mean?”

“What do you plan on doing now that you’re exiled?”

He wasn’t surprised that his brother knew he had been exiled, Tommy knew his father kept in contact frequently with the man. (He tried not to let that get to him when his father hadn’t bothered to send one whisper to him while he’d been running.)

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “I just know I have to keep running.”

“You don’t think you’re far enough away?” Techno asked. “I doubt Dream would ever find you out here.”

Tommy shook his head at the words. “That’s not why. I could’ve settled a while back. I know Dream’s too much of a lazy shit to go more than a hundred blocks out.”

“Then why?”

Tommy didn’t know how to explain the feeling he had every time he settled down, even if only for a few moments to eat or catch his breath. He glanced at his brother, weighing his options to either trust his brother enough to at least accept his answer even if he didn’t understand it or to play it off with something else. The worst Techno could do was make fun of him, which was something Tommy was used to and he would be leaving either way, so it didn’t matter that much.

“There’s this,” he started before shaking his head to start again. “I get this feeling? I guess that’s what it is. I get this feeling every time I stop like there’s something coming for me and the distance between me and it gets closer every time I slow down. I don’t know what it is, though.”

He wasn’t even sure if that made sense, it barely did to Tommy himself and the only reason he knew it wasn’t because of his banishment was because it had been present since before he robbed George’s house. Tommy couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment the feeling had started because he had brushed it off at first, but was near the start of New L’Manburg. It just felt like he needed to run from something but also that there would eventually be something for him if he just kept running. Like he was running to and from something at the same time, but he didn’t know what either were.

Techno looked dubious across for him, but Tommy didn’t know how to make the man understand, so he left it at that.

“Did you want to stay with me?”

And that was exactly the last thing he expected his brother to ask him, but today seemed to be full of unexpected things. He hesitated answering. He did need to restock his food and get proper clothes and materials if he wanted to last to the next biome and whatever else beyond that, but he still wasn’t sure if he could trust Technoblade.

“Phil wants to see you.’

Tommy’s head whipped up, staring into Techno’s pink eyes that looked as monotone as his voice sounded. The boy could scarcely imagine meeting his father again, didn’t know if he could deal with it. But, by the Creator, did he want to see his dad again. Wanted someone to tell him everything was going to be okay even if he knew they were lying. Wanted to know if this family was still salvageable or if they’d be broken for forever.

Slowly, Tommy nodded. Maybe it was time to be brave.

**Author's Note:**

> i went into writing this part fully expecting it to be like four pages but it ended up being ten so, you know *shrugs* my tommy and techno apologist sides really went to war in this installment. god that stream really hurt me not even gonna lie. and i like how most of us took one look at the exile arc and immediately decided tommy would be wearing wilbur's coat. Also!
> 
> lore? lore. we're slowly getting into the good part of the series so i hope you guys are excited and stick around!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/cracklesnapple1)
> 
> as always, please leave a kudos and a comment if you enjoyed this, i love reading them! <3


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